a VERY big Dream

Alloh,
i
want
to
marry
someone.

please show me your way.

i will be as good as i can
and help me
to make him as good as you want.

Alloh, i'm yours.

telling my friend

he sold his HP for "warung".
uh... a month-lost-contact is only for "warung? i hate it!

he get a new job:
a playstation rental make him worked there.

he get another job. a "Batak" trust him to work in his field.

my friend works for almost all day!
go to field in the morning, just an hour break, go to PS rental, next little break, or without it, work in the field again, then in the night work in the factory.
i dont know how can he face it.
i'm worrying his sholat.
i'm worrying his health,

when will he sleep?
when will he take meals?
when will he sholat?
is he still take a bath every morning&evening?

he still busy too in his bands.

i dont like his choice.
i dont like this.

but i still havent a way to tell him about it.

i still don't understand the true condition.
what's his reason., what he feels,
ah
boy
whatever i think, whatever i feel, whatever i say
i dont understand.

he's a boy!

may 22th he said
"Mi telor. MnumNy sprit cmpur garem.but obat cikunguNy.abiz plsaQ

what is it?

and the day before, he said that he "terkapar sendirian, badan pegel2, ' and bla bla bla

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

then he make me confuse
because he confuse
because he can't make identity card
because he hasn't a letter from kelurahan.
and he left his ijazah.

i said about his brother. but he didn't answer.

it's unusual (what's the better word to say aneh? aneh seaneh-anehnya?)
if i ask that letter to kelurahan santren.
what will people say?
i ' m sure that he also can imagine that.

he also confuse, i know it.

last weekend, he has a project with his friends. recording.
i wanna hear the story
i wanna asking him again about the identity,
but i still cant call him.

he still refuse, i think.

ok, tomorrow will be another day.

oh yeah,
last night i transfer many SMS into some simcards, and put them in my pocket/blanket/picket/uh, i'm forget. i wanna say "dompet". now, my memory is "lumayan longgar". hehehehe

just a little friction

i have constructed my BIG dreams in LMT, an activity organized by LKI FISIP UNS on may 26-27th 09.
i thought i have to share it to my parents.
but,
they don't there when i want they there.

ibu now still at Welahan. she went there at 03.00am and i went home at 03.00pm.
just a little friction.
next weekend, bapak said, i have to come home earlier.
a "pengajian" will be held in our home, so i must help them prepare all things.
but, at that day, bapak will go to Jakarta!

when can we meet?

inside, i cried.